My last blog was an honest depiction of how I was feeling at the moment. I felt, in a way, a little defeated. Self defeated. I had allowed myself to be so consumed with myself that I was denying the truth of God operating in my life. While I do not believe that I was wrong for sharing what I was feeling at that time, I dare not allow it to be depicted as though my walk with Christ is not enjoyable to me. Anytime you focus so much on what is going on around you, you begin to become desensitized to the voice of God and you give the flesh leeway. You are able to become stressed out or over emotional or confused easily. Isaish 26:3 says that He will keep us in perfect peace if our minds are stayed on Him because we trust in Him. So, anytime negative thoughts begin to rise up and you want to throw a pity party for yourself, think about what Christ went through for you. He took on the shame of the cross so that you would not have to. The veil was rent so that we could boldly approach the throne of grace. If we can approach His throne boldy then how much more should we be able to live in boldness for Him just the same. God wants us to be confident to come to Him. He does not want us to shy away from Him FOR WHATEVER REASON. THERE IS NO EXCUSE THAT CAN BE GIVEN AS TO WHY WE CAN'T APPROACH GOD AS A FATHER, AS A FRIEND.
There is no reason to be ashamed before God..after all, He innocently suffered the shame of the cross. Be repentant YES but ashamed NO!!!! That is a trick of the enemy and definitely not conducive to a relationship with God.
So in all....I am NOT defeated you guys. I have no plans of turning my back on God but at times I tend to focus on the things that are of no value to me. I tend to think a lot about what people think of me when in actuality they aren't even worried about me. I allow the enemy to toy with my emotions and it causes me to separate myself from my brothers and sisters because I am under the impression that I am not good enough or not deep like they are...it is ALL FUTILE, believe me, and has nothing to do with the Lord....so I send notice to the devil today that YOU HAVE BEEN UNCOVERED HERE. I AM NOT DEFEATED AND AM MORE THAN A CONQUEROR THROUGH CHRIST JESUS.
little i still loves big U. I can't do this without you Lord...
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
On my Heart
Can I have a love relationship with you Lord? My only and true first love you are but my love for you at times seems to be misdirected....all the while I know your passion for me grows deeper.
I heard someone say that you never forget your first love....but how is it that our hearts can still be turned aside from you Lord? You HAVE singed my conscience and tattooed my mind. I mean you are all that I talk about and all that I think about but I desire that my heart be captured all over again. Remember? Like the first time. I honestly want, no, need you to ooze from every pour and be knit in every fiber of my being.
My soul thirsts for you in a dry and weary land where no water is.
Lord there is no water here. There is no water in this well. I feel as though I have run dry. So what else is there to do but to redig the wells and search for more water? Lord I am searching, longing for a word from you that will spark what was once in me but I haven't found it yet. So my search continues....but Lord I am getting weary. I try and do what I think is right but still I am not fulfilled. I read (your Word), I pray, I read books and blogs and listen to sermons about getting closer Lord closer...because after all you said that if I draw nigh unto you that you would draw nigh unto me? You said that right? So..WHERE ARE YOU? WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NO CONFIDENCE IN THIS WALK? WHY DO I QUESTION EVERYTHING THAT I SEE NOW LORD? WHY? Don't get me wrong, I have never doubted you nor your Word...NEVER. As a matter of fact that seems to be my only source of real life but Lord I know there is something I am missing Lord...so what am I missing? The Spirit of God lives in me (check), I am pursuing holiness in my everyday life (check), I am trusting you the best way I know how but there is something about you or about this walk or whatever that just seems to escape me...
It seems that I have complicated a relationship that used to be so simple, so pure. My self consciousness has distanced you some so I go through the motions so that people won't know how I struggle with you at times. They don't know when I go to talk with you I don't have many words but a grieving heart that remembers the conversations we used to have. I used to be confident in our relationship...but now...my devotions have failed me. I have begun to feel the weight of a chore. Almost like a HAVE to and not a WANT to. But here is the thing...YOU HAVE NOT CHANGED! YOU HAVE NOT MOVED ON ME! YOU WERE THE SAME GOD THAT I MET WHEN I WAS TWELVE YEARS OLD. THE SAME GOD THE FORGAVE ME EVEN WHEN I KNOW I WASN'T DOING RIGHT BY YOU. YOU NEVER STOPPED LOVING ME AND DRAWING ME TO YOU EVEN WHEN I WAS A FORNICATOR, A DRUNKARD, A LIAR, A MANIPULATOR...A MISFIT. But now Lord...now that I am not any of those things anymore it seems as though I have lost a hold of our fellowship and our time together. Why do I shy away?
I hear you say, even now, that I cannot be righteous apart from Christ. That my righteousness is in Christ..so as I try to be what I have been made through Christ apart from Christ I will always feel the weight of a chore. I have not come to place a burden on you but that you might be free to live for me...to live in me.
Okay Lord so I ask that you free me...TODAY...of my chore and grant to me your pleasure in prayer and in reading your Word and even in fellowship with others(which has unfortunately become the biggest burden to me). Let none of these take place in my life as an obligation but as a joy. CONSISTENTLY. Teach me again how to pray as your Spirit guides and tutor me in your Word Lord and show me how to appreciate and love others as brothers and sisters and not as strangers. I'll live in you....I want to live in you. Just show me how Lord...
With ALL sincerety and out of a pure (yet broken) heart,
latika
i love U i love U i love U i love U i love U i love U i love U.............little i loves big U.
I heard someone say that you never forget your first love....but how is it that our hearts can still be turned aside from you Lord? You HAVE singed my conscience and tattooed my mind. I mean you are all that I talk about and all that I think about but I desire that my heart be captured all over again. Remember? Like the first time. I honestly want, no, need you to ooze from every pour and be knit in every fiber of my being.
My soul thirsts for you in a dry and weary land where no water is.
Lord there is no water here. There is no water in this well. I feel as though I have run dry. So what else is there to do but to redig the wells and search for more water? Lord I am searching, longing for a word from you that will spark what was once in me but I haven't found it yet. So my search continues....but Lord I am getting weary. I try and do what I think is right but still I am not fulfilled. I read (your Word), I pray, I read books and blogs and listen to sermons about getting closer Lord closer...because after all you said that if I draw nigh unto you that you would draw nigh unto me? You said that right? So..WHERE ARE YOU? WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NO CONFIDENCE IN THIS WALK? WHY DO I QUESTION EVERYTHING THAT I SEE NOW LORD? WHY? Don't get me wrong, I have never doubted you nor your Word...NEVER. As a matter of fact that seems to be my only source of real life but Lord I know there is something I am missing Lord...so what am I missing? The Spirit of God lives in me (check), I am pursuing holiness in my everyday life (check), I am trusting you the best way I know how but there is something about you or about this walk or whatever that just seems to escape me...
It seems that I have complicated a relationship that used to be so simple, so pure. My self consciousness has distanced you some so I go through the motions so that people won't know how I struggle with you at times. They don't know when I go to talk with you I don't have many words but a grieving heart that remembers the conversations we used to have. I used to be confident in our relationship...but now...my devotions have failed me. I have begun to feel the weight of a chore. Almost like a HAVE to and not a WANT to. But here is the thing...YOU HAVE NOT CHANGED! YOU HAVE NOT MOVED ON ME! YOU WERE THE SAME GOD THAT I MET WHEN I WAS TWELVE YEARS OLD. THE SAME GOD THE FORGAVE ME EVEN WHEN I KNOW I WASN'T DOING RIGHT BY YOU. YOU NEVER STOPPED LOVING ME AND DRAWING ME TO YOU EVEN WHEN I WAS A FORNICATOR, A DRUNKARD, A LIAR, A MANIPULATOR...A MISFIT. But now Lord...now that I am not any of those things anymore it seems as though I have lost a hold of our fellowship and our time together. Why do I shy away?
I hear you say, even now, that I cannot be righteous apart from Christ. That my righteousness is in Christ..so as I try to be what I have been made through Christ apart from Christ I will always feel the weight of a chore. I have not come to place a burden on you but that you might be free to live for me...to live in me.
Okay Lord so I ask that you free me...TODAY...of my chore and grant to me your pleasure in prayer and in reading your Word and even in fellowship with others(which has unfortunately become the biggest burden to me). Let none of these take place in my life as an obligation but as a joy. CONSISTENTLY. Teach me again how to pray as your Spirit guides and tutor me in your Word Lord and show me how to appreciate and love others as brothers and sisters and not as strangers. I'll live in you....I want to live in you. Just show me how Lord...
With ALL sincerety and out of a pure (yet broken) heart,
latika
i love U i love U i love U i love U i love U i love U i love U.............little i loves big U.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Why Brian Welch Walked Away
Why did God put us on this earth? I believe He put us here to love us.
This is an awesome testimony of God's love.
This is an awesome testimony of God's love.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Learning so much....
Now as touching things offered to idols, we all have knowledge. But knowledge puffeth up but chrity edifiteh. And if any man thinketh he know anything, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know. But if any man love God, the same is known of him. - 1 Corinthian 8:1-3
How true is this?!! Man how true this is. I will tell you, there is something about this Christian walk that both puffs up and edifies. It is the people that usually puff up and it is the God in us the has the ability to edify. I don't know about you but it seems we all reach a point in our walk when we think we have a handle on the things of God. We become caught up with church doctrine and sometimes forget that it is the Word of God that is the final authority but we put so much emphasis on what the church believes. Now don't get me wrong, it is a good thing to have a set of beliefs by which to govern yourself by so long as they are rooted in the Word but even then, some of the the doctrine that arises is based on what we think the Word is saying. Most of the interpretations that we have about the Word of God comes from some of the traditional things that we have been taught down the line and we become denominational converts instead of born again believers.
So what am I learning...I am learning that loving God and being loved by Him is really all that matters. And if we claim to love God we WILL love our brothers and sisters. For all of the law is fulfilled in one word and that is to love thy neighbor as thyself. I am not saying that it is okay to be in doctrinal error (learning that there is a lot of that too) and that we should accept anything but what I am saying is doctrine puffs up but love builds up. Doctrine at times confuses but love just makes sense. When we love each other we will not become offended so easily because we know we have each other's best interest as heart. But in the end it is ALL about Christ. Love says I love you enough to make sure that in everything you do you are honoring our Lord.
Not only that but I am learning A LOT and I mean A LOT about how the devil works with his backwards behind. I am becoming more and more aware of the methods he uses to keep us as far as we can possibly get from God. And this is the thing, he doesn't even care about you devoting your life and actions to him but so long as he can keep you in a place that you will never experience true freedom in Christ, if he can get you to hang out in the middle (lukewarm) he is good. But the farther away he can entice you the better. That is why we have to be careful of the small things that capture our affections because God is a jealous God (yes Oprah! He is jealous for us and not of us). And most of all HE LOVES US..OH HOW HE LOVES US like she says below:
And I love you too!
Peace and Blessings
TikaStar*
How true is this?!! Man how true this is. I will tell you, there is something about this Christian walk that both puffs up and edifies. It is the people that usually puff up and it is the God in us the has the ability to edify. I don't know about you but it seems we all reach a point in our walk when we think we have a handle on the things of God. We become caught up with church doctrine and sometimes forget that it is the Word of God that is the final authority but we put so much emphasis on what the church believes. Now don't get me wrong, it is a good thing to have a set of beliefs by which to govern yourself by so long as they are rooted in the Word but even then, some of the the doctrine that arises is based on what we think the Word is saying. Most of the interpretations that we have about the Word of God comes from some of the traditional things that we have been taught down the line and we become denominational converts instead of born again believers.
So what am I learning...I am learning that loving God and being loved by Him is really all that matters. And if we claim to love God we WILL love our brothers and sisters. For all of the law is fulfilled in one word and that is to love thy neighbor as thyself. I am not saying that it is okay to be in doctrinal error (learning that there is a lot of that too) and that we should accept anything but what I am saying is doctrine puffs up but love builds up. Doctrine at times confuses but love just makes sense. When we love each other we will not become offended so easily because we know we have each other's best interest as heart. But in the end it is ALL about Christ. Love says I love you enough to make sure that in everything you do you are honoring our Lord.
Not only that but I am learning A LOT and I mean A LOT about how the devil works with his backwards behind. I am becoming more and more aware of the methods he uses to keep us as far as we can possibly get from God. And this is the thing, he doesn't even care about you devoting your life and actions to him but so long as he can keep you in a place that you will never experience true freedom in Christ, if he can get you to hang out in the middle (lukewarm) he is good. But the farther away he can entice you the better. That is why we have to be careful of the small things that capture our affections because God is a jealous God (yes Oprah! He is jealous for us and not of us). And most of all HE LOVES US..OH HOW HE LOVES US like she says below:
And I love you too!
Peace and Blessings
TikaStar*
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Relationship....
The most important thing that we could possibly EVER obtain in life is a realtionship with God. We were redeemed by His blood to spend eternity with Him in heaven when at one point in time that completely impossible. But God made it possible becuase it was important to Him to reconcile His creation to himself. ALL of His creation...and that includes me and YES you too!!!
It is one thing to be redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ but it is a total different matter altogether to garner a relationship with Him. It is easy to, as some practice, say a prayer and ask Jesus into your heart. It may even be easy to for others to be fire baptized with His Holy Ghost and speak in an unknown tongue but at some point in each of these lives....the challenge comes with actually having a relationship with Jesus. We can hold on to the manifestations, the fruit of the Spirit displayed in us and even the works that animate our faith but to be in a close relationship with The Father...OH MY!! How does one do that?
I wish OH how I wish I had a formula to recite that would solve this for us but the truth is I do not. What I do know and what I can tell you is this...a relationship is first built on these things:
1. The blood of Jesus Christ and the power that it has to save us from death and sin
2. Continual trust and faith in God
3. The Holy Ghost (His power not ours)
4. Prayer (open and constant communication)
5. Obedience to His will through His Word
6. A willing heart and mind
7. MOST IMPORTANT...HIS GRACE!!!!
That acutally almost sounds like a formula but not really. These are merely precursors but only a few. Also, understand this...God pursues us! God wants and longs to have a relationship with us. He doesn't just want to save our souls but He wants to talk to us and teach us and show us His love. We can know these things all day long and we can know about the character of God as much as we would like but I believe He wants us to not just know these things but to actually experience them first hand! I believe it is His will for us.
This relationship that I speak of is so about LOVE at that. His sacrifice for us was based on love. His resurrection was based on love. And everything else that He does is based on love but without the relationship we cannot know or even experience His love. There is a secular song that comes to mind that goes a little something like this:
I needed the shelter of someone's arms
I needed someone to share my ups and downs
AND THERE YOU WERE
With sweet love and devotion
deeply touching my emotion
I want to stop and thank you
HOW SWEET IT IS TO BE LOVED BY YOU!
I am NOT trying to spiritualize a secular song but thats just what came to mind for the moment. Psalms 91:4 says "He shall cover you with His feathers and under His wings you shall take refuge." HOW SWEET IT IS TO BE LOVED BY YOU! 1 Peter 5:7 says that we can cast our cares on Him because He cares for us. HOW SWEET IT IS TO BE LOVED BY YOU! Romans 5:8 says while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. HOW SWEET IT IS TO BE LOVED BY YOU! Eyes have not seen, ear have not heard nor has it entered into the hearts of man the things that God has prepared for those that love Him. HOW SWEET IT IS TO BE LOVED BY YOU!
As I write this I am reminded to not give up and to keep pursuing God no matter how I feel or how hard things seem to get. I KNOW I love Him and I am even more certain that He loves me. All I can say is that God is awesome and a relationship with Him, no matter how hard it seems it is to obtain, is well worth it...your life depends on it and that is no exaggeration.
So there you go...
God IS Love (1 John 4:8)
It is one thing to be redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ but it is a total different matter altogether to garner a relationship with Him. It is easy to, as some practice, say a prayer and ask Jesus into your heart. It may even be easy to for others to be fire baptized with His Holy Ghost and speak in an unknown tongue but at some point in each of these lives....the challenge comes with actually having a relationship with Jesus. We can hold on to the manifestations, the fruit of the Spirit displayed in us and even the works that animate our faith but to be in a close relationship with The Father...OH MY!! How does one do that?
I wish OH how I wish I had a formula to recite that would solve this for us but the truth is I do not. What I do know and what I can tell you is this...a relationship is first built on these things:
1. The blood of Jesus Christ and the power that it has to save us from death and sin
2. Continual trust and faith in God
3. The Holy Ghost (His power not ours)
4. Prayer (open and constant communication)
5. Obedience to His will through His Word
6. A willing heart and mind
7. MOST IMPORTANT...HIS GRACE!!!!
That acutally almost sounds like a formula but not really. These are merely precursors but only a few. Also, understand this...God pursues us! God wants and longs to have a relationship with us. He doesn't just want to save our souls but He wants to talk to us and teach us and show us His love. We can know these things all day long and we can know about the character of God as much as we would like but I believe He wants us to not just know these things but to actually experience them first hand! I believe it is His will for us.
This relationship that I speak of is so about LOVE at that. His sacrifice for us was based on love. His resurrection was based on love. And everything else that He does is based on love but without the relationship we cannot know or even experience His love. There is a secular song that comes to mind that goes a little something like this:
I needed the shelter of someone's arms
I needed someone to share my ups and downs
AND THERE YOU WERE
With sweet love and devotion
deeply touching my emotion
I want to stop and thank you
HOW SWEET IT IS TO BE LOVED BY YOU!
I am NOT trying to spiritualize a secular song but thats just what came to mind for the moment. Psalms 91:4 says "He shall cover you with His feathers and under His wings you shall take refuge." HOW SWEET IT IS TO BE LOVED BY YOU! 1 Peter 5:7 says that we can cast our cares on Him because He cares for us. HOW SWEET IT IS TO BE LOVED BY YOU! Romans 5:8 says while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. HOW SWEET IT IS TO BE LOVED BY YOU! Eyes have not seen, ear have not heard nor has it entered into the hearts of man the things that God has prepared for those that love Him. HOW SWEET IT IS TO BE LOVED BY YOU!
As I write this I am reminded to not give up and to keep pursuing God no matter how I feel or how hard things seem to get. I KNOW I love Him and I am even more certain that He loves me. All I can say is that God is awesome and a relationship with Him, no matter how hard it seems it is to obtain, is well worth it...your life depends on it and that is no exaggeration.
So there you go...
God IS Love (1 John 4:8)
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Transformed by the Holy Ghost!
The Holy Ghost leads and guides into all truth....that is if we follow Him. We must allow our hearts to be surrendered to God's will in order to allow the Spirit of God in us to direct us into His way. The familiar scripture Prover 3:5-6 says, Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths. People of God, do you realize that this is a promise? By His Spirit He led the children of Israel out of Egypt. At that time He was manifested in a cloud and pillar of fire but today He lives in us. So how much more direction and guidance should we have in the Holy Ghost. And not only that but Jesus sits in a position of authority interceding on our behalf in all things.
Okay, so to the point at hand...being transformed by the Holy Ghost.
Ephesians 3:18
But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.
It is the by the Spirit of God that we are transformed and not just transformed into better people per se but into the likeness of Christ. The more the Spirit has His way in our lives more we look like Jesus, the more of His glory we reflect. This glory transcends into every area of our lives.
Case in point: I got married 4 days ago. A mere four days ago. I have barely tasted the joys AND the woes (so they say) of marriage. Prior to the "I do's" I felt I was pretty well equipped for marriage. I know the expectations but I have to admit, I was not 100% sure if I wanted to submit to those expectations right away. I felt that it would all be a learning process and something that I could work on while in the marriage. Well dear friends...God had a better idea. I believe that there was no way that God would allow me to botch what He had put together. Now, don't get me wrong, I have been seeking God to help me with this transition...sincerely not wanting to go into the marriage with the mindset that I had above but I didn't have enough faith to believe that God could transform my mindset immediately but accepted the fact that it would all come about gradually. Everything in me has changed and quickly at that has it been done. I WANT to be submissive AND obedient to my husband. I WANT to allow him to be the man AND the priest of our household. I WANT to do everything that is required of me as a wife as outlined in the word. My whole outlook has changed, my heart has been changed. I AM a wife reflecting the glory of God in marriage and by His Spirit I will continue to be.
There is no way to explain how God chooses to do His work but I am confident that He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus...and by all means I will not stand to be in His way. His will is above my will and His ways GREATER than my ways.
It is just so crazy to see how God truly does direct your paths when you put Him first. Just to see how He pulls all the pieces of the puzzle together and when you look back in hindsight you see just what He was doing. God goave the provision in every stage of our relationship. He gave us EVERYTHING that we needed to make it from one stage to the next.....He has transformed us from glory to glory into the mold that He fashioned for us and I am loving every minute of it.
Ephesians 3:17 says were the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty and yall I can honestly say that I have never felt so free in my life. Marriage (between a man & a woman) is a wonderful thing. It is ordained by God to accomplish His will in the earth. Gotta Love It!!!
And let me tell you this, the Holy Ghost has the power to change EVERYTHING in your life. Just get a hold of the Lord Jesus Christ and don't let go. Allow Him to capture your heart and captivate minds and submit and commit your life to Him and watch the wonderful things He will do. Mark 9:22b-23 says "but if thou canst do anything, have compassion on us, and help us. Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.
In Love With Him,
Mrs. Tillis
Okay, so to the point at hand...being transformed by the Holy Ghost.
Ephesians 3:18
But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.
It is the by the Spirit of God that we are transformed and not just transformed into better people per se but into the likeness of Christ. The more the Spirit has His way in our lives more we look like Jesus, the more of His glory we reflect. This glory transcends into every area of our lives.
Case in point: I got married 4 days ago. A mere four days ago. I have barely tasted the joys AND the woes (so they say) of marriage. Prior to the "I do's" I felt I was pretty well equipped for marriage. I know the expectations but I have to admit, I was not 100% sure if I wanted to submit to those expectations right away. I felt that it would all be a learning process and something that I could work on while in the marriage. Well dear friends...God had a better idea. I believe that there was no way that God would allow me to botch what He had put together. Now, don't get me wrong, I have been seeking God to help me with this transition...sincerely not wanting to go into the marriage with the mindset that I had above but I didn't have enough faith to believe that God could transform my mindset immediately but accepted the fact that it would all come about gradually. Everything in me has changed and quickly at that has it been done. I WANT to be submissive AND obedient to my husband. I WANT to allow him to be the man AND the priest of our household. I WANT to do everything that is required of me as a wife as outlined in the word. My whole outlook has changed, my heart has been changed. I AM a wife reflecting the glory of God in marriage and by His Spirit I will continue to be.
There is no way to explain how God chooses to do His work but I am confident that He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus...and by all means I will not stand to be in His way. His will is above my will and His ways GREATER than my ways.
It is just so crazy to see how God truly does direct your paths when you put Him first. Just to see how He pulls all the pieces of the puzzle together and when you look back in hindsight you see just what He was doing. God goave the provision in every stage of our relationship. He gave us EVERYTHING that we needed to make it from one stage to the next.....He has transformed us from glory to glory into the mold that He fashioned for us and I am loving every minute of it.
Ephesians 3:17 says were the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty and yall I can honestly say that I have never felt so free in my life. Marriage (between a man & a woman) is a wonderful thing. It is ordained by God to accomplish His will in the earth. Gotta Love It!!!
And let me tell you this, the Holy Ghost has the power to change EVERYTHING in your life. Just get a hold of the Lord Jesus Christ and don't let go. Allow Him to capture your heart and captivate minds and submit and commit your life to Him and watch the wonderful things He will do. Mark 9:22b-23 says "but if thou canst do anything, have compassion on us, and help us. Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.
In Love With Him,
Mrs. Tillis
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